After 8 months of suffering, my sweetheart passed away this afternoon from complications developed from pneumonia. Words cannot express the feelings I have. Those that know her know she was a great woman that never uttered an unkind word. She loved everyone unconditionally and was always looking to make people feel loved and welcome. On March 10th we will have been married for 35 years. We have a great family that adore their mother and grandmother. She has set an example and a pattern for goodness that will last for our future generations.
I have thought about why my dear wife needed to go through so much. I don't have all the answers, but I am convinced that although she was experiencing pain, she was not going to leave this life without knowing her family would be all right without her. As her husband and as family members, we have learned more about unity, prayer, patience, love and service than ever before. While immensely challenging, the last eight months have brought us closer together and refined us as individuals. While she was not totally conversant, her Heavenly Father allowed her to communicate enough to let us know that she knew us and loved us. I know she understood much more than she could tell us.
I was fortunate to have many special moments with Sherrie. Most days we would sit on the exercise mat and she would put her head on my shoulder and we would just rock back and forth. There were no words, but we knew our love for one another was growing and growing. One of the greatest moments occurred one day while sitting on the table where she turned and told me she loved me. I have heard those words at least twice a day for 34 years, but this time the words sunk deep in my soul. A moment I will cherish for the rest of my life.
I have not enjoyed this journey at all. Regardless, I am a better husband, father, grandfather and man for having gone through it. I am closer to my sweetheart and more in love than ever before. I will miss her more than I can imagine. Tonight it is bittersweet. I am grateful that a loving Heavenly Father called her home after a valiant fight where she will no longer have pain, but great joy. I am sure she was met wiht open arms by her dad who passed away this time last year.
Over the past week I have repeatedly walked past a sign in the hospital that states: "Rather than mourn the absence of the flame, let us celebrate how brightly it burned." I realize I am biased, but Sherrie's light was a beacon! She made everyplace she stood better. She stood in holy places and her legacy will be a template we will use to learn, grow and teach.
I am thankful to have the knowledge that I will see her again and that our family can be together forever. She is my eternal companion and although she is not here, it will be but a short time before we are reunited. I know God lives. I know His son suffered for our sins. I know there is a grand plan of happiness that is overseen by a loving Heavenly Father.
I want to thank all of you for your prayers and support. It has meant so much to our family. The calls, emails, well wishes, and prayers offered on our behalf have buoyed us up during our darkest days. We can't say enough about the support we have received from so many family and friends.
We are sad, but we will do all we can to enjoy life as she would want us to. I am convinced that if I do not, my dear wife will reach down from Heaven and give me a swift kick in the seat of the pants. Her family is everything to her and will continue to be so until she can wrap her arms around each of us again.
May God's richest blessings be upon you. My prayer is that we will all strive to be a little more patient, a little more loving and little more caring. Life can change in an instant!
Love,
Ron
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Sunday, January 27, 2013
Another hurdle...
One of my great fears was realized this week as we rushed my sweetheart to the hospital. Her struggle to overcome a cold and cough settled in her lungs giving her a good case of pneumonia. I have asked the question "why" many times and I have come up with no answers. I know we are all subject to the frailties of our bodies and these things can happen even with the healthiest of people, but she really didn't need this on top of everything she has gone through.
We have been in the hospital for five days now and we aren't seeing a lot of progress in her condition. They say it can get worse before it gets better and we are grateful her pneumonia hasn't gotten worse, but it's not getting better either. She has become rather despondent as she focuses on her breathing. It is very hard to hear her moan in pain knowing there is nothing we can do to help.
At times like these I try each day to take a few minutes and count blessings that have come our way. It would be very easy to declare there are none and spend the rest of the day in despair, and believe me I fight that temptation every day, but taking inventory of the day remembering a doctor who has taken genuine interest in Sherrie or a period of calm where there was peace or a friend who has a feeling to show up to see how we are doing reminds me that while I really don't like this journey, I am not alone. I must have "eyes to see, ears to hear and a heart to feel" or I will go crazy faster than I already am.
I don't know how the next days and weeks will play out. I pray fervently for my lovely wife to have peace. There is nothing more important to me and our family. We are doing all we know how to do. Sherrie is in her Heavenly Father's hands and His will will be done. We pray we will know what that is soon.
We have been in the hospital for five days now and we aren't seeing a lot of progress in her condition. They say it can get worse before it gets better and we are grateful her pneumonia hasn't gotten worse, but it's not getting better either. She has become rather despondent as she focuses on her breathing. It is very hard to hear her moan in pain knowing there is nothing we can do to help.
At times like these I try each day to take a few minutes and count blessings that have come our way. It would be very easy to declare there are none and spend the rest of the day in despair, and believe me I fight that temptation every day, but taking inventory of the day remembering a doctor who has taken genuine interest in Sherrie or a period of calm where there was peace or a friend who has a feeling to show up to see how we are doing reminds me that while I really don't like this journey, I am not alone. I must have "eyes to see, ears to hear and a heart to feel" or I will go crazy faster than I already am.
I don't know how the next days and weeks will play out. I pray fervently for my lovely wife to have peace. There is nothing more important to me and our family. We are doing all we know how to do. Sherrie is in her Heavenly Father's hands and His will will be done. We pray we will know what that is soon.
Saturday, January 19, 2013
Cold season...
Tis the season for cold and flu and it has not skipped over the Labrum house. Things have steadily been moving along. Sherrie is using her voice more and seems to be more aware of her surroundings each day. We remain grateful for these small and significant events in her life.
Just as we take a few steps forward, we seem to face another challenge that slows her down. Over the past week we have battled a cold and congestion that can get her quite agitated and panicky as she tries to clear her airway. Restful sleep has been tough and keeping her calm during therapy has been challenging. Our biggest concern is that she not get fluid in her lungs and bring on a case of pneumonia.
She has been blessed with a good cough that has cleared any excess fluid from her lungs. We are very grateful for this. Her swallowing has improved so she can manage her secretions better. Unfortunately, it take so much energy from her body that it just leaves her exhausted. We pray that her cold subsides soon and she can get some rest and energy.
We have hit the 8 month mark in this journey. We are grateful Sherrie remains in relatively good health and the weather here in Chicago has been snow free. I pray for her to have a string of really good days. In the meantime, we will do all we can to love and help her. I know she is closely watched over by her Heavenly Father. There are many things I don't understand, but I know He does.
While we are not out walking or dancing, I get my kisses and I love you's on a regular basis. She is aware of who we are and is always good for a big hug. She is an amazingly resilient woman.
Just as we take a few steps forward, we seem to face another challenge that slows her down. Over the past week we have battled a cold and congestion that can get her quite agitated and panicky as she tries to clear her airway. Restful sleep has been tough and keeping her calm during therapy has been challenging. Our biggest concern is that she not get fluid in her lungs and bring on a case of pneumonia.
She has been blessed with a good cough that has cleared any excess fluid from her lungs. We are very grateful for this. Her swallowing has improved so she can manage her secretions better. Unfortunately, it take so much energy from her body that it just leaves her exhausted. We pray that her cold subsides soon and she can get some rest and energy.
We have hit the 8 month mark in this journey. We are grateful Sherrie remains in relatively good health and the weather here in Chicago has been snow free. I pray for her to have a string of really good days. In the meantime, we will do all we can to love and help her. I know she is closely watched over by her Heavenly Father. There are many things I don't understand, but I know He does.
While we are not out walking or dancing, I get my kisses and I love you's on a regular basis. She is aware of who we are and is always good for a big hug. She is an amazingly resilient woman.
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
A New Year blessing...
The Christmas holiday was certainly not what we had planned. While we have had great blessings come our way this last year, we are glad the year 2012 is over. We pray with all our heart that 2013 is a much better year for my sweet wife and our family.
After our return home from the hospital we hoped to see Sherrie regain the capabilities that went into shock as she experienced her seizures. We were very blessed to see that she quickly came back to her baseline and continued to do well. That next monday, she went back to therapy and has been doing better with each visit. We are very grateful for heavenly blessings.
After many months of hoping and praying, we are seeing Sherrie manage secretions better and doing much better in swallowing. We aren't there yet, but we have positive signs that she is headed in the right direction. This helps her use her voice more clearly. There is not a day that we don't hear a clearer yes, no or many other words. We hear a lot of jabbering that I am sure is clear to her. We just need to figure out what she is saying.
Each day is spent on doing some kind of therapy. Her flexibility is improving as well as her balance and reach. Her right foot has dropped down and to the left making it difficult for her to put weight on the bottom of her right foot. They have been working on freeing up the muscles, but it is very difficult and takes more time than we have in each session.
This last week we went to the doctor's office to see if she would be a good candidate for Botox injections. I am sure you are like me and think that this only used for cosmetic purposes. Much to my surprise, Botox is also used for muscle spasticity and in Sherrie's case, will hopefully make muscles in her leg less rigid allowing therapists to bring her foot back to it's natural position. We were pleased to hear that she will have the injections in early february. We pray this will be a big help in her ability to stand and walk.
We continue to see the hand of God in the life of my dear wife. I continue to pray for a more rapid recovery and the journey to end. As much as I long for better days to get here yesterday, I take solace in knowing that she is known and watched over by a loving God. I pray that this year will be year of continued miracles, peace and joy. My sweetheart has certainly earned a break from additional challenges. We hope and pray this is the case.
All the best to you and your families in this New Year.
After our return home from the hospital we hoped to see Sherrie regain the capabilities that went into shock as she experienced her seizures. We were very blessed to see that she quickly came back to her baseline and continued to do well. That next monday, she went back to therapy and has been doing better with each visit. We are very grateful for heavenly blessings.
After many months of hoping and praying, we are seeing Sherrie manage secretions better and doing much better in swallowing. We aren't there yet, but we have positive signs that she is headed in the right direction. This helps her use her voice more clearly. There is not a day that we don't hear a clearer yes, no or many other words. We hear a lot of jabbering that I am sure is clear to her. We just need to figure out what she is saying.
Each day is spent on doing some kind of therapy. Her flexibility is improving as well as her balance and reach. Her right foot has dropped down and to the left making it difficult for her to put weight on the bottom of her right foot. They have been working on freeing up the muscles, but it is very difficult and takes more time than we have in each session.
This last week we went to the doctor's office to see if she would be a good candidate for Botox injections. I am sure you are like me and think that this only used for cosmetic purposes. Much to my surprise, Botox is also used for muscle spasticity and in Sherrie's case, will hopefully make muscles in her leg less rigid allowing therapists to bring her foot back to it's natural position. We were pleased to hear that she will have the injections in early february. We pray this will be a big help in her ability to stand and walk.
We continue to see the hand of God in the life of my dear wife. I continue to pray for a more rapid recovery and the journey to end. As much as I long for better days to get here yesterday, I take solace in knowing that she is known and watched over by a loving God. I pray that this year will be year of continued miracles, peace and joy. My sweetheart has certainly earned a break from additional challenges. We hope and pray this is the case.
All the best to you and your families in this New Year.
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