Small and Simple Things Every Day

Another week has past and I look back on this one as I have the previous six thanking the Lord for the many, many blessings that have been sent our way.  I have spent virtually every day with my dear wife and I go home each day always seeing something different in her movements that bring great hope and gratitude. I am honored to be her companion.

I get asked frequently how Sherrie is doing? My response is pretty much the same..."she is doing a little better each day" and she is! Some change is readily noticed while other changes are very subtle. Regardless, time is her ally as her brain heals and searches for new pathways to accomplish even the most simple movements.

The last two days we have seen her sit and hold herself longer than we have seen previously. We have seen her move her head a little more to her left side and track with her eyes. We see a number of small things that tell us she is on the verge of being more alert and ready to move on to the next level. While I wish there were a formula that could tell us how long this will go on, there is none. In the meantime, we will rely on each other for strength and have faith in the many blessings we have received along the way for they have brought great peace to us.

Wake up Sherrie!

Today Dad and I headed down to spend another day with mom at the RIC.  Over all the day went well and the progress continues. This morning mom had occupational therapy and responded great.  She moved right and left fingers and right and left leg.  She tracked and followed with her eyes right, left, up and down.  In fact she met all of her occupational therapy goals for today!!! As for the other therapies...well, she slept through most of them.  So the question remains will she be consistent tomorrow?

Mom is doing very well...as long as she is alert!!!!  When mom is alert we have seen her  kick a ball, point, locate one object and then another, follow people as they cross the room, even wave...when she is alert!  When she is not alert she focuses on her listening skills!  She has always been a good listener but now she has mastered it!  We talk, she listens! We have learned to recognize the difference between her listening state and her "nothing will wake me up" state!  However, in order for her to progress even further we need her to be alert more often. This will allow for more consistent growth in each of the therapies (speech therapy, physical therapy, occupational therapy).  Again, right now she is usually nailing one therapy and then too pooped to wake up for the others.

We continue to be grateful for the progress that mom is making and the prayers and love that are being offered in our behalf.  Just as we encourage mom to continue to fight we ask that each of you continue to pray that mom will become more alert.  You may never know the strength and blessings that come from each of you and your prayers, but we hope that through the words of this blog you may on some level feel our gratitude.  When asked, "how are you gettting through this?" The answer is simple, it is because of each of you!

Thank you for your love, your commitment, your prayers, and your service.  

Brittney

Peaks and Valleys

It was another good weekend for our Mama.  She is as tough as nails.  I love her for continuing to fight, for not giving in when even the simplest tasks (squeezing a hand, lifting a finger, raising an arm, or juggling a soccer ball – kidding) seem impossible.  I know she is in there.  If there was any doubt before, she has proven it time and time again over the past week.  I know that she can hear us – and I’m sure wants nothing more than to consistently fill our constant pleading for more movement, more responsiveness.  I think sometimes she is looking at us thinking, “I am out of tricks for today, people!  If you want me to do something more, than give me a cookie ‘cause this liquid diet is not working for me!”  She is making phenomenal progress all things considered.  We are maybe three miles into the 26.2 mile marathon, but there have been many moments when we weren’t sure we’d even make it this far.  There is a long, long way to go – which can be very daunting – but she is been pretty impressive thus far.  It can’t be easy for her.  For as much as we are in the spiritual and emotional fight of our lives, she is in the physical fight of hers.  I could not be more proud of her.  

As total aside and to give you some insight into her therapy, there is a lot of right-side, left-side stuff going on.  As in, “Sherrie, can you turn your head to the left?  Ok.  Now, can you turn your head to the right?  Good.”  I keep waiting for the therapist to throw in “To left one time, to the right one time…now, sliiiiide!”  I have never been a fan of the obligatory wedding-style line dance (usually at the request of a long lost cousin that decided to make an appearance), but if Mom decided she wanted to bust out a Cha Cha Slide during her therapy, I would not complain.  Keep your fingers crossed for that.  We might even let them play Mambo No. 5 if we knew she’d respond to it!  

Also, here’s a clarifying note given some of the questions we have received.  Per Dr. Roth last week, Mom is no longer in a coma.  He encouraged us to not think about her state as in a coma vs. out of a coma (another reminder that those Grey's Anatomy writers full of it!), but rather in terms of increasing levels of consciousness.  In fact, when she arrived at the RIC, she was what they would call "minimally conscious" (not in a coma) but she has continued become more alert and is progressing out of her minimally conscious state as you have read in previous posts.  A big part of the game at this stage is managing her level of alertness.  As her brain continues to heal, the doctors expect her to become increasingly alert; however, she has a few things working against her on this front.  First, her body is weaker from being in bed and dealing with the effects the initial trauma.  She has lost a lot of muscle tone in the process.  Second, she is on a laundry list of medications nearly 3/4 of a page long that all have drowsiness as a side effect!!  The vast majority of these are preventative – to avoid seizures, blood clots, infection, for example – but are necessary to ensure she doesn't have complications that would impede her progress.   I am down for the count after a teaspoon of NyQuil so I can only imagine what she is fighting against to stay awake for her therapy sessions.  As time goes on and she is weaned off medications, we will get a better picture of her natural level of alertness.

Despite our wrestle internally to stay positive and find joy in the small wins, the journey remains exceedingly challenging – for both Mom and all of us who miss her as she was.  The daily uphill climb towards optimism and faith regularly seems ominous and some days completely insurmountable.  We rarely know much about the path that lies ahead other than that it's uncertain and rocky, but we have all committed to each other to keep moving, to stick with it for as long as it takes.  When we have finally dragged our minds and hearts to the the peak of each day (i.e., our best selves, our best feelings, our best hope) we begin again to put all of this in perspective and find gratitude in the countless blessings we have received.  Those are good moments.  And then, seemingly in an instant - as if pushed - we often find ourselves sliding down the other side back towards the dark places of sorrow, despair, and self-pity.  It's lonely down there and the path ahead feels even darker and scarier.  I shouldn't be surprised at this point, but I am continually amazed at how much easier it is to let your mind wander in wrong direction than it is to move towards faith, and hope, and trust in a loving God.  In our dark moments both individually and as a family, many of you have come to our rescue.  Your words of encouragement, your stories of triumph, your heartfelt embraces, your listening ears are often the catalyst for being able to take another first step back in the right direction, back up the hill, back towards an eternal perspective we long to achieve each day.  

And so go the ups and downs of this gut-wrenching, fascinating journey we are on.  I suspect that the coming weeks will continue as they have for the last six - with the highest of highs and lowest lows.  I pray each day that we learn the lessons that lay hidden for us to uncover along our way.  Many of you have experienced the valleys of tragedy (and in some cases the peaks of triumph) long before us.  We have gained a newfound respect, admiration, and love for you.  We rely on your experience and wisdom having been through this type of ordeal before.  On a very personal level, we are each learning the subtle, yet powerful difference between sympathy and empathy.  For as much as I dislike the experience we are having (I don’t want it now, and don’t want it later), I am eternally grateful that my Mom is teaching us to be more equipped human beings with a greater capacity to understand a small portion of the suffering that can occur in this life.  Life can be hard – there is no doubt about it - but we can can get through it.  Thank you all for sharing of yourselves to help us through this difficult time.  We could not do it without you.  

Love, 

Brandon

Here some pics of Mom and Kenzy...

Counting our blessings...

I haven't written over the past few days as I thought there really hasn't been a lot of change to report, but I do err in my assumptions. Many years ago I learned a song that has come to have great value to me. It is entitled, "Count Your Many Blessing". The last verse states:

So amid the conflict, whether great or small,
Do not be discouraged, God is over all;
Count your many blessings, angels will attend,
Help and comfort give you to your journey's end.

Those words of the song echo in my mind more and more each day. I have sat and thought about the many blessings that have been extended to my dear wife and our family and they are numerous. We miss her daily activity in our life so much, but her influence is felt continously. A great blessing to many! 

Saturday was another full day of therapy sessions. In the midst of a lot of pushing, pulling and prodding, she did pretty well. Sunday was literally a day of rest for her. No sessions scheduled and an opportunity to rest up for Monday. Yesterday we continued a focus on developing her swallowing reflexes and she is doing better. The therapists focused on holding a tooth brush,using a wash cloth and doing excercises all in an effort to condition and to help her become more alert.

During each day, there seems to be a new "something" that occurs. It can be a response to a voice or a new movement with her hand or foot, all evidence that she is there fighting and becoming more aware. I live each day for the small acknowledgments that she knows we are there and supporting her.

Yesterday, Zach called from college to talk to his mom. As we held the phone to her ear, her eyes opened and I knew she recognized the voice of her youngest son. We see similar responses when she hears grandbabies and her childrens voices. It is one of the great blessings we see each day. We are greatful for her health and strength. We are greatful for little responses that communicate hope. We are greatful for wonderful therapists and we are greatful for the prayers of many.

The journey continues...

Friday's Marathon

Today was a big test for my dear wife. Thursday we met with her doctor and received positive reports that she was progressing well and had shown improvement since we had arrived at RIC. We didn't really need the report as we had seen the change take place in front of our eyes. Now that this first evaluation period was complete, it was time to establish goals that would push her harder than she had been pushed during this first week. Today we got a glimpse at how challenging it would be.

Beginning at 8a she started with Physical Therapy and except for a 2 hour break, she was pretty much working with therapists until 3p. For a person with TBI, every movement is not only difficult, it is physically taxing. It was difficult for her, but she went through it all very well. She really was in the toughest workout of her life.

Today as I watched her go through each session, I was very conscious of how hard she was working to get better. I was amazed, impressed and honored to be in her presence. There is not a day I don't look forward to seeing her. A simple squeeze of my hand or seeing her eyes meet mine and track me as I walk across the room is a wonderful feeling that is indescribable.

I am grateful for the wonderful caregivers at the RIC. Although they do not know Sherrie, they treat her with great sensitivity and concern. There is not a time they do not address her by name, tell her what they will be working on and then offer words of encouragement as they complete their therapy sessions. All are dedicated to working with patients with brain injury and all know their trade very well. They are a special group of people to whom we are very appreciative.

Great Day, Great Progress

Today was a fantastic day with Sherrie. I made it to the RIC just in time to accompany her to her Occupational Therapy session. When I walked into her room, I was shocked to see her sitting up in a very high tech wheelchair with her eyes wide open like she'd been wondering when I'd show up! As I greeted her, her eyes followed me around the room and I knew we were off to a good start. The therapy session was unlike anything I ever thought I'd be a part of. We journeyed down the hall to the special room full of all kinds of equipment; different tables, mirrors, balls, bikes, stairs, etc. The therapists got her onto the table (holding her up from behind) and put a full sized mirror in front of her. They were asking her to look right and left, up and down, etc. I came over to her side and started talking to her and her eyes popped open so wide and she turned her head. After that kind of response I felt like I'd been given a shot of adrenaline. I chatted her ear off for the next 45 min. Telling her a step by step account of the dinner I had gone to on Saturday, what the pool was like with the kids, the funny outfits we found in the basement, how Skyler and Donovan found Zach's paintball masks and pretty much everything else that had happened since I had seen her last. All the while the therapists had me move from one side of her to the other, and she TURNED HER HEAD and eyes to follow wherever I went. She used her left arm to push herself up three different times, all the while I'm rambling and rambling. I have been with her when she works out with her friends in the morning and should have known that chatting about the last few days while exercising would have felt the most normal to her. It was such a neat experience and we were both worn out at the end of the session!

We had another really neat experience today. A visitor, Laura LaRue, came to visit us in Sherrie's room. 18 months ago, Laura suffered a neurological reaction from a flu shot and was in a coma for a month. She was on the same floors at the Northwestern ICU as Sherrie and then spent weeks at RIC. She told us her story of what it was like to come out of a coma and re-learn even the smallest of things all while she was standing in front of us fully functioning. Her story and experience inspired us. She told us that when she had the ability to talk, but still couldn't see, she asked her husband if she would get better. He told her, "YES!" She said that while she didn't know how long it would take or how hard it would be, the very possibility that she could get better was what she needed to hold onto. I couldn't have said it better. Looking at her and seeing the possibilities that lay ahead for Sherrie and for us, coupled with seeing Sherrie so responsive and alert today was an incredibly buoying experience.

She also shared what it was like to come out of a coma. How terrifying it could be to not realize what time, month, or day it was. How every effort to communicate felt like she was trying to climb out of a deep hole. How the smallest things, like opening her eyes, were exhausting. She remembers hearing voices and being aware of her family's presence long before she could communicate with them. All of these things gave us more empathy and understanding for Sherrie. She recommended things like telling Sherrie where she was, who was with her, what day it was and what the weather was like. Things that she probably doesn't always know and we take for granted. She gave us fantastic insight and lots of hope.

All in all, it was the best Thursday I've had in a long time!

Another Day Past...

Today was a good day with mom at the RIC. She continues to be strong and show signs of progress. She is able to follow some commands but we need to continue to pray that those moment become more consistent and she becomes even more alert and awake. 

Those of you who know us well, know that the Labrums tend to be a little competitive! When there has been a challenge placed before us we become determined, focused, and persistent.  Over the years we have faced many challenges. Some were of our own choosing (like who could reenact the best Brittney Spears music video...dang you Tyler!) and others have been placed on our path. This is by far our biggest challenge! We will do all we can to perservere through this journey. 

Standing in the therapy room watching my dad transfer my mother from the therapy table to her chair, with all the strength and tenderness of a loving husband and father I realized we are now facing our Goliath! Although I may not have the courage and faith of David, I am grateful that I do not have to stand alone in this battle. I am so grateful for the strength and courage of my father. I know that just as a loving Heavenly Father wants nothing more than to embrace his children, I am grateful for my fathers willingness to fill that roll on earth. Watching him care for my mother was one of the most tender and spiritual experiences of my life. 

I am also grateful for the faith of my siblings as we navigate uncharted waters. Many times I feel the uncertainty overwhelming and I begin to panic, but they stand strong beside me and remind me of how far we have come! Recently during one of these moments Tyler reminded me of a comment from Elder Jeffrey Holland (a leader from our church) who said "With any major decision there are cautions and considerations to make, but once there has been illumination, beware the temptation to retreat from a good thing. If it was right when you prayed about it and trusted it and lived for it, it is right now. Don’t give up when the pressure mounts. Certainly don’t give in to that being who is bent on the destruction of your happiness. Face your doubts. Master your fears. “Cast not away therefore your confidence.” Stay the course and see the beauty of life unfold for you!Master your fears. Cast not away therefore your confidence. Stay the course and see the beauty of life unfold for you!" This is our goal. We need to rely on the moments when we have felt the peace of answered prayers. 

 

Today was a good day and I am grateful for the army that stands beside our family as we face our Goliath and for the beauty of life that is unfolding before us!

Brittney

Father's Day with Sherrie

This is the first Father's Day I have not had a two way conversation with my sweetheart in 34 years. Traditionally this is a day for "spoiling" Dad and having family gathered around to tell stories about the past and have the boys remind me of how old I am getting. While I miss the live interaction, I have had a pretty special day. I still spent the day with Sherrie talking about family, showing pictures of her grandchildren and participating in her therapy sessions. Intended or not, she showed more signs that she is healing and fighting. The changes just since saturday have been wonderful. Her hands and arms were very active, her eyes are following objects and she is following commands more and more. She apparently moved enough to wear her out just as they took her to physical therapy and decided to sleep through it. All the prodding and pushing couldn't change her mind.

I would be remiss if I did not recognize and thank my Father In Heaven for all the blessings that have been sent our way. We have a long way to go, but I know He is aware of Sherrie and continues to watch over her.

The First Full Day of Rehab

Today was a full day of evaluations. She spent time with Occupational therapists, speech therapists, physical therapists and even a psychologist. Their focus was to determine base lines for reflex, swallowing capability, response to commands, eye movement and whole lot more. In total, she had three hours of workouts that just wore her out. In all cases, we saw responses that were encouraging. They will now set goals for her to work toward so we can actually measure her progress.

When it was over, she closed her eyes and was very, very relaxed. We have come to know when she is more active. You can see her eyes move. Her hands move, especially her left and she is active with mouth movements. When she has had enough, she goes to sleep and rests soundly.

Our journey continues. This last week has been filled with many changes all positive. One question I get asked most often is "have you seen changes with her over the last days or weeks"? I find myself stopping and thinking about the question because it has so much meaning to me. Over the past few weeks, we have gone from no response and paralyzing fear to increased movement and hope for an opportunity to spend more time with the most important person in my life. We know unequivocally why this has happened. We have been blessed and guided from the beginning and know the source from where these blessings flow.

We believe that families can be together forever. I have had this belief for many years, but it has never been as important to me as it is now. My pain is buffered by our children, their spouses and our wonderful grandchildren. Just listening every night during our family prayer as one of the grandchildren  asks that grandma gets better is one of the special moments I have during the day. While they may not be as articulate as their parents, I believe that their simple and sincere prayer has an express route to heaven.

Sherrie's mom has been with us for a few weeks. I have been impressed with her resolve to do anything she can to make her daughter feel special and know that mom is near. I know Sherrie knows her mom is there and I know it is a force that drives her forward. We lost her father about a year and a half ago. I have no doubt he has been carrying on a lively conversation with his little girl. While we love grandpa Duane, we pray the conversation ends and she begins talking to us! We have been fortunate to have Sherrie's mom her with us during all of Zach's activities and her grandchildren and great grandchildren have benefitted greatly.

Another day has passed and we are one day closer to knowing the outcome to this story. Thanks again for all your thoughts and prayers.

RIC

Sherrie is an official resident of the Rehabilitation Institute of Chicago! The feeling walking onto her floor at the RIC is totally different than walking into the hospital.  There is more activity, more life, more progress. They have two big glass rooms right off of the elevator for therapy with patients. She is on a floor with many other head and neck trauma patients. With its bright colors, people of all ages receiving therapy, and lots of activity, it is a stark and welcome contrast to the hospital.

We met with her new doctors and the nursing staff, who are all very positive and warm. One neat change from the hospital is that we are encouraged to be VERY involved in her care and treatment. We will be trained in her physical therapy and care. It is so nice to feel like we can actively be helping her. The next few days will be full of evaluations from her speech language pathologist (SLP), Physical Therapist (PT), and medical team. They are going to assess where she is now from where she was 4 weeks ago- which is a big difference. While we go forward hoping to see as many positive signs as we have this last week, we remember what her doctor us today, "Remember that there is no set path for recovery, it happens at different rates and in different increments."

She has been a real trooper today with all of the movement, another round of evaluations, meeting new staff, and adjusting to another new environment.  This morning during her PT she was able to raise both legs in response to command to kick a ball. Many people have ask if her ability to respond to commands- such as kicking the ball and like Brittney wrote, moving her arms and squeezing our hands- means that she is awake. All of these actions are good signs that she's on her way, but don't mean that she is out of her coma. We are looking for her motor responses to be consistent, so that she can respond and follow commands at regular intervals, and other signs. This chart helped me make sense of awake vs coma:

http://www.medicinenet.com/coma/article.htm

And perhaps the biggest change of all for the day; Grandma Adams and I removed the No-Chip manicure that she has had on since her trip to the Dominican. It was like having a day at the spa with her- kind of :). We wrapped her fingers in nail polish remover and foil (which was quite a site), rubbed moisturizer into her fingers, painted her toes, and moisturized her face. It was a very fun, normal activity and it felt good to spend time with her doing something that I know she liked. Little by little, we are catching glimpses of our new normal and finding the joy in it.

Sherrie at the nail salon with Donovan and iPad on her lap- January 2012. There are few people who would be okay with getting pedicures with a  2 year old on their lap and a 1 year old on the lap next to you, but she made us feel like it was a natural thing to do!!

The last day at NW

The last post I wrote discussed the marathon that we have begun...well I am exhausted already! However, I have realized the benefit of posting once a week for me is that I have the opportunity look back and see the progress we have made and the many tender mercies that we have been given.  


Since moms accident we have made it through 27 days, traveled 1,968 miles, and across two countries (three if you count Miami). Mom has managed to fight through three flights, 4 hospitals, more doctors than we can count, two craniotomies, two angiograms, a tracheostomy, multiple scans and X-rays, pneumonia, and constant poking and prodding.  She has truly come a long way!!!


Our goal over the past week has been to get rid of any and all infections and prepare her to leave the ICU and then move onto the RIC (Rehab Institute of Chicago).  In order for mom to move to RIC she needed to be off antibiotics, have her temperature in a normalized range and not have to be suctioned on a frequent basis over a two day period. As of this evening, she has accomplished all this and more. Tomorrow looks to be the day we will make the move.

As you have read in the many posts prior to this one we have seen so many blessings and miracles all along the way, each one helping us continue to endure.  The last week and especially the last two days have been no different.  We have been able to see even more blessings and receive that "second wind." While Grandma Adams, Zach, and I were visiting mom yesterday she started to respond to commands.  At one point I asked mom to move the hand I touched (left hand) and she did!  I then touched her right and asked her to move it, she did!  I then took her left hand and scratched her right arm, I told her what I was doing and then moved her hand and asked her do the same thing, she did!  I asked her to lift her head, she did!!!! Watching her continue to fight and seeing yet another miracle has given our family the strength we needed to endure! 


Unlike any and all marathons (I dread being a part of) this one has more than just a "second wind," and each one seems to give me more strength and anticipation for the next. 


Love, 
Brittney  

A Good Day

Today was a good day. I came to the hospital early in the day and enjoyed holding Sherrie's hand and getting her updated on our family, neighborhood and up coming events. When I walked in her room, her eyes were opened and she was much more active with her hands. For about three hours I tried to assess whether she was responding to my commands or having a series of involuntary responses. I suspect it was a combination of both. I am certainly not an expert in this area, but we have seen more and more movement from week to week. The experts tell us this is a good thing.  


Later in the afternoon she saw Sarah for PT and she confirmed there was more positive movement. I could not help but think how we take the simple effortless movements of our bodies for granted. We give little thought as to how it all comes together and works until it doesn't. At that point,  you examine and analyze every little movement for a sign of hope. 


Three weeks ago we were blessed to have a little grandson (Hudson) born into our family. I saw and held him for the first time this last weekend. His little body is a miracle. Divinely designed for a journey that will allow him to learn and grow throughout his life with oversight by a Mom and Dad who are experiencing indescribable joy and love. I thought of his little mind working to make sense of all his new surroundings while at the same time his grandmother is doing the same. One learning brand new things and the other working hard to remember and relearn all the things that have made her great. Sherrie has such a love for her grandbabies that I am sure one of her big objectives is to hold baby Hudson.  


Within a day or two we could be moving to the Rehab Institute where Sherrie will go into a very aggressive two week program to get her awake and access her level of activity. I spoke to a Dr. at the Institute and was very comforted by their capabilities and desire to give her the best care as we move to this next level. I know it will not be easy. It has not been easy watching them do PT with her at this stage. It will be a very different program when we get her moved. Another step in the right direction. 

I continue to learn about what is really important and what is just noise. For me it comes down to God, family and friends. Everything else should be supportive of these first three. If they are not, it creates a change in focus and behaviors. We end up getting hung up in the thick of thin things. I am thankful for blessings that prior to this experience I might have passed off as small or just a regular part of our day to day existence. I am thankful for brain waves and the ability to breathe independently and body movements and eyes that open and medical science and doctors and nurses who care and family and friends and prayer and revelation.  


As we have all expressed before, we thank you for caring and praying. You are one of the great blessings we receive daily. It lifts and sustains us.

Sunday, June 10th

As another week comes to an end we reflect on the remarkable progress that Mom has made over the last 24 days. We are continually impressed by the small steps that she takes and we marvel at the strength she shows when making even the smallest of movements.

While Mom has been in the hospital we have realized just how much she does to keep our family functioning smoothly. It seemed like she always had endless energy to serve those around her. She rarely missed sporting events, choir concerts, service projects, plays, (special shout out to Todd and his 8th grade production of Kilroy was Here), graduations, parties and many other worthwhile activities. Even with all the bouncing around between events she still woke up at 5am with all of us to make us breakfast and wish us well at the start of each new day. I know that this has been preparation for the journey she is currently on. If anyone has the strength, fortitude, stamina, and positive attitude to pull through, it's our Mom.
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My siblings and I have collectively made a decision to ensure that at least one of us is with Mom every day. My Dad certainly can't go a day without seeing his sweetheart, but we wanted to make sure her children were there on a daily basis as well.  We look forward to the nightly phone calls from one another updating us on Mom's latest progress. It has had a profound impact on our family. We have always been extremely close, but the accident has unified and strengthened us in ways I never could have imagined. My dad has always called Mom the glue that keeps the family together. Even while she is in a coma she still manages to do so.

Mom continues to progress in small increments. We recognize these as small miracles and look forward to the day when she wakes up. The doctors are hoping to move her to the Rehabilitation Institute of Chicago in the near future, but want to wait until they don’t have to suction her airways anymore. She continues to look better with each new day. With her new chic haircut, pink finger nail polish, and white gloves, she looks as pretty and stylish as ever.

Later this week, Zach and I will be driving out to Utah to get him settled in before he starts college at BYU in Provo, Utah. I’m sure Zach would have preferred to make the trek with Mom and Dad, but I will do my best to supply him with the freshman survival staples: lots of peanut butter, flip flops for the shower, and the many other things Mom would have made sure he had. We are so proud of Zach and the young man he has become and we are excited for him to start this new chapter in his life.

I know it has been said many times before, but we sincerely thank you for all of your prayers and support. We read your comments and feel of your love each day. It is a great source of strength to know that we have all of you praying on our Mother's behalf. We love you all!

Tyler

Friday's blessing

Over the past 3 weeks we have been on survival mode as Sherrie has fought to stay alive. At every point along the way we would come to a point where there would be a new obstacle that needed to be addressed in order for her to move forward. We would counsel together as a family and then determine what help we needed from heaven. I have always been an advocate of prayer. The ability to commune with God and receive revelation is one of the great gifts given to all of us. We have found that family and friends united in prayer can bring to pass miraculous results. That has certainly proven to be true for my dear wife and today was no exception.

Today we were informed that Sherrie would be leaving the ICU and moving to a step down unit before going to the Rehabilitation Institute of Chicago. We feel very blessed and we thank you for all your thoughts and prayers. For the third day in a row she had physical therapy and did very well. Doctors said today that her scans of the brain look good and she has  made good progress since she arrived eleven days ago. She remains in a comatose state, but we see signs she is fighting and trying to become more alert every day.

Over the past weeks we have had very specific objectives we wanted to accomplish such as getting her to Santo Domingo and through another surgery. Then to stabilize her system and get her to Miami, then on to Chicago and out of ICU. Very specific milestones that kept us focused and hopeful. Every step along the way we have felt guided and directed. This we know is not coincidental.

As we move to this next level, I believe this will be the most difficult time for our family. We want to see progress and we want to see it right now! They say patience is a virtue, we the Labrums have lessons to learn. Now that we have her fairly stable and she is very close to going into full rehab, demonstrable progress could take weeks and possibly months. We will fight very hard to not let discouragement effect our hopes and prayers for a full recovery.

I cannot conclude this evening without expressing my sincere thanks to all who have called, written, emailed or stopped by to offer support and prayers on Sherrie's behalf. We are thankful for wonderful friends and neighbors who have been so kind to provide meals, watch grandchildren, water flowers and the list goes on and on. Words cannot describe how grateful we are for your loving acts of service. I know Sherrie is touched by your kindness.

Northwestern's Strongest Mama

Today Mom began her training for the 2013 Ironman.  To begin the transition into the rehab institute (and to prepare her for that grueling 112 mile bike ride), a physical therapist has been working her out everyday.  Oddly enough, her therapist (Sara) is the wife of one my close friends from growing up in Libertyville.  It gives us great comfort to know that someone with a connection to our family - even if a layer or two removed - is helping provide her care.  She is very sweet with Mom and talks to her as if she wide awake.  Today, she had Mom propped up sitting on the end of the bed helping her move her arms, legs, and head to build strength.  As you can imagine, after three weeks in bed, she has lost a lot of muscle tone.  With some help from Dad, her new apprentice, they worked her out sitting up for about twenty minutes.   Mom did great.  Her breathing and heart rate stayed strong and at normal levels, which is a good sign.  Often patients in Mom's condition don't last for more than a few minutes the first couple of  times before breathing gets weak and heart rate spikes.  We knew she was a strong lady, but she gave a gutsy performance today (some credit is due to mom's dear friend, Michelle Hollingsworth, for kicking her butt in the gym every morning for the last few years).  Before you know it, we believe Mom will be back to her daily routine of bench pressing Zach 50 times and running a half marathon (or maybe just around the block)!!

They continue to aggressively fight off the progress of any infections.  She still has a bit of a pneumonia and a small infection around her traech (both are very common), but she seems to be holding up ok.  They closely monitor her temperature and so far it has been responding well to medication and external treatments.  Her blood pressure and heart rate remain strong.  Everyday she becomes a little bit more alert, but we keep reminding ourselves that this will happen over weeks not days.  As Carol mentioned in an earlier post, this is a long process, so we fight daily to find joy in the small wins and not get too discouraged when we don't find her dancing in her room when we walk in.   As an added bonus, I have to say that Mom looks pretty good with buzz cut.  Who knew??  Wendy tells me that it is very en vogue.  All of the nurses comment on how young she looks and how amazing her skin is...then, they look at Dad and ask if she is his trophy wife!  I think she told them to say that.  

As some of you know, I don't exactly have a strong stomach when it comes to blood and hospitals and that kind of thing (I may or may not have passed out during one of Wendy's ultrasounds...shhhh!).  However, I have been less queazy this time around with mom.  More often than not, I find myself fascinated with the science behind her care and the innovation available to her doctors and nurses to help bring her back to health.  Increasingly modern medicine is such a blessing.  I also find myself marveling at the human body.  I have never been so grateful for a benevolent Creator that gave us these unbelievably intricate and capable bodies.  It is truly a miracle how our bodies can regenerate and heal both physically and emotionally.   I am so grateful that the human brain, that thing responsible for harnessing electricity, developing the computer, airplanes, and the internet (thanks, Al Gore) - by the way, don't look this way, I think I peaked at the Rubix Cube - is also capable of renewing and repairing itself or at least compensating for injury in ways that even the smartest minds have yet to understand.  Through all that we have experienced in the last three weeks, no doctor or nurse has yet to give us a reason not to hope and hold white-knuckled to our faith.  This is not because mom is not seriously hurt - truth of the matter is that she is.  There is no denying that.  However, the possibility of a recovery is still very much on the table.  We (the collective we) do not fully understand all that the brain can do.  I pray fervently that mom's brain will continue to heal and that she will find her way back to us.  If anyone can do it, she can.  I am so proud of her and to be able to call myself her son for the last 33 years...and counting.  

I wanted to leave you all with a brief quote from a man named Russell M. Nelson, a leader in our Church and a world-renowned heart surgeon about the magnificence of God's greatest creation, the human body (btw, Todd and I once argued that it was the iPhone, but we have since changed our minds).

I invite you to ponder things magnificent. The word magnificent is derived from two Latin roots. The prefix magni- comes from a term meaning “great,” and the suffix comes from the Latin facere, meaning “to make” or “to do.” A simple definition of magnificent, then, might be “great deed” or “greatly made.”

Think of the most magnificent sight you have ever seen. It could be a meadow in springtime filled with beautiful wildflowers. Or perhaps you have been awestruck, as have I, at the magnificence of a single rose. I have come to appreciate the magnificence of an orange, with each droplet of juice packaged in an edible container, joined with many other packets, grouped in sections, and all neatly wrapped in a disposable, biodegradable peel.

Some would say the most magnificent sight they have ever beheld is looking heavenward on a summer night, seeing stars beyond number dotting the sky. Those who have traveled in orbit through space say that their view of planet earth was one of the most magnificent sights ever observed by man.

Some might choose the view of the Grand Canyon at sunrise; others, the beauty of a mountain lake, river, waterfall, or desert. Some might select a peacock with its tail in full fan, or a handsome horse. Others would nominate the beauty of butterfly wings, or a hummingbird seemingly suspended in midair while feeding. These magnificent sights are wondrous beyond measure. They are all “great deeds” of our divine Creator.

Now, ponder the magnificence of what you see when you look in the mirror. Ignore the freckles, the unruly hair, or the blemishes, and look beyond to see the real you—a child of God—created by him, in his image.

If we peek beyond what we see in the mirror and lift the lid on the treasure chest of the marvelous attributes of our bodies, we can discover, at least in part, the magnificence of man.

Love, Brandon
  

Tuesday reflections

Tuesday ended with news that blood flow through her basilar arteries continues to go well so they will stop the daily doppler tests and take her off medication that dilates the vessels. They removed another PIC line leaving us with one issue left to deal with before we mover out of ICU and that is the pneumonia. We hope to have that handled within the next couple of days.

The doctors and nurses here at NW have been wonderful. They take time to talk to Sherrie and treat her as if she is family. Knowing Sherrie, she is trying to figure out how to communicate "spirit to spirit" just so she can know a little bit more about them.

I have been asked how our children are doing. Despite the emotional ups and downs, they (including in-laws) are all doing okay. They miss their mother and friend very much, but they have great faith that all will be well. We are fortunate to have such a great family. They have brought great strength to me over the last three weeks. Every time I am around them and their children I feel closer to Sherrie. They like each other, they tease each other and they honor their parents.

Monday Monday

Not a whole lot going on today. The doctors are watching to see if she is developing a little pneumonia. This is not unusual for this type of injury so they are very active in staying on top of the testing and antibiotics. For the fourth day in a row the blood flow to her brain is good with no more spasms. Today we started her exercise program which will keep her arms and legs limber. I was the trainee and according to the physical therapist, I did okay. As I move her limbs, I see her eyes move and sometimes open. I long for the day when she will open her eyes and say "hi".

I should state, and my children will confirm, I am not a blogger, tweeter or any kind of social media participant. However, in this situation, I find writing about my day with my sweetheart therapeutic. Despite her inability to talk, she continues to have a major impact on my life. I just feel better when I am around her.

Sunday blessings

Sunday's have always been special times in the Labrum household. We attend our church meetings and afterward, Sherrie will usually have a family over to the house for dinner so we can get to know them better. Always a little touch that makes so many people feel comfortable and loved. This is our third sunday of this journey. I would love to have her by my side doing all the things we normally do, but it's just not possible right now. Nevertheless, I feel close to her as I watch her and hold her hand.

Today is another day of progress. Her temperature is getting closer to normal and the latest scans taken last night show continued improvement. Last night she had her eyes open for a couple of hours and when doing some suctioning, she lifted her right arm up as if to say...STOP! The more movement and improvement in vital signs are all good news for us. We will not have anything conclusive or predictive for sometime, but we are grateful for little indications of hope.

We have spend a good part of the day reading to her, talking and playing her favorite Tabernacle choir songs. I believe she becomes more relaxed as we do these simple yet important things. This evening Zach received his Eagle scout award. It was another evening where Mom was not physically there, but we could not help but feel her presence and approval as we gathered together for these important events. I don't know how it works, but I do know it does. There is just a feeling of calm where we know she is happy, proud and excited about how her family is gathered together to support one another.

I should also point out that while Zach received his Eagle, it was really Mom that should take all the credit. I helped with the camping and fun stuff. She pushed him (loved him) to get the "not so fun" stuff completed so he could be where he is today. Thanks to all.

The Saturday Post

As we end the week, I reflect on the past 7 days and marvel at the journey. We started the week with a trip from Miami to Chicago and ended with the graduation of our youngest child. Through the week, I  continue to be amazed at the strength and resiliency of my dear wife. While she is  the sweetest and most giving person I know, she is a fighter!

On thursday we convinced the nurses she needed the rest of her hair removed. After two weeks and some quick surgeries, her hair was not close to her standard, so we gave her the Sade look. Now with all the tubes removed from her face and a nice even head shave, she looks great! Her movements seem more frequent and she will open her eyes more often. Responding to commands would be a wonderful thing!

We are anxious to get her out of ICU and hope to have this happen sometime next week. From there she will go to the Rehabilitation Institute of Chicago. This is a wonderful place with great care and experience to continue making miracles happen. We continue to take this journey a step at a time. We have talked a lot about small, but really important things that have happened that have meant so very much to Sherrie and our family. They are not coincidental! They have brought us together in an even stronger way than we were before. We are more patient, concerned and appreciative of one another. That in and of itself is a great blessing.

This summer will be a defining moment for our family. We will continue to pray, laugh and cry together as we continue the journey. We pray for great things to happen over the next weeks and months. We again thank all for your continued thoughts and prayers on Sherrie 's behalf. Prayer is the souls sincere desire uttered or expressed...I know this to be true! 

Graduation

Yesterday, Friday, was a big day for Zach. He graduated high school, attended the senior class party that Sherrie had been working on and spent time with his siblings, friends and Ron. Some dear friends watched the kids while we were at graduation and then we went back to the house to celebrate. Everyone was so happy for Zach and glad to have a reason to celebrate. As Ron said, it was a day for celebrating and focusing on the accomplishments of Zach. And it was a great night. Full of laughter and love.

There were hard moments, like realizing that we needed to get the video camera out to film Zach opening his presents so that we could show Sherrie, or when Brittney, Wendy and I were looking for plates  and getting the things ready that Sherrie would have had already done because she would have thought about it already, or seeing a loving friend offer kind words at graduation and remembering that this whole thing wasn't a bad dream but reality. And through it all, Zach had the ability to smile, enjoy the day and be his usual sweet self. He is a pretty amazing young man and we know Sherrie is so proud of him. (She is probably also relieved that a friend steamed his graduation gown and slacks because they looked much better than if we would have done it!)

We spent the morning with Sherrie at the hospital. We are seeing the blessings that came on Thursday. On Thursday night, she had both eyes open and was more alert. (Not "awake" but a good sign of things to come) They gave her the angiogram and some medication. We realized retrospectively that the "bad news" we were getting on Thursday ended up being a series of blessings. Some of the bad things had been; they cancelled her appointment to move her feeding tube, they found that she needed the angiogram, and she was very sleepy that day. Now we realize that had they taken her to move the feeding tube, her blood pressure (an issue they addressed while doing the angiogram) could have very well caused her to stroke. The fact that they were monitoring her closely enough to discover she needed another angiogram was a small miracle too- they had just barely cleared her saying that she looked fine. The medication they gave her during the angiogram should help her vessels to stay open. These were just a few of the blessings on which we reflected Friday morning while we were at the hospital.

A friend of the family who has been through a similar experience told us to remember that during this whole experience you can take two steps forward and then one back, two forward, three back. And to remember not to look so intently on the day to day, but focus on the long term progress. We had to remember this as we spent time with her on Friday morning. We had gone in hoping to see her eyes open and her being as alert as she was on Thursday. However, she was very sleepy. We read cards and notes to her, played messages and talked. There wasn't much response from her, but it was a good chance to think and talk about the miracles we've seen up this point. I read this quote the other day:


"To most people, the word miracle conjures up images of mana from heaven, the parting of the Red Sea, Muhammad riding a horse into the seventh heaven, or Buddha creating a golden bridge out of thin air. More personally, we think of miracles as those unexplainable coincidences that seem to shape the direction of our lives in subtle but powerful ways."

We have seen miraculous things already; Sherrie living through the first night, a neurosurgeon being in Punta Cana, safe flights and transports to three different locations, and many others. And more often, as we reflect, we realize we have seen those "unexplainable coincidences" that are shaping us and this situation on a daily basis.

We continue to be amazed and strengthened by the love and support from friends, neighbors and those who don't know us but have heard of Sherrie's situation. Your stories, kindness and acts of service keep us going.