Tyler's Funeral Talk

Remembering Mom

Ever since I can remember I was told that I had the looks of my Dad and the disposition of my mom.  I can’t think of a better compliment than to have my actions remind people of my sweet Mom and according to Carol my Dad nails the salt and pepper look, so really it’s a win-win.

Growing up it wasn’t uncommon to heart the words... “Remember who you are and what you represent.” Almost like clockwork, before we would leave for practice, for school, or for a party, my parents would offer this phrase as a subtle reminder that how we acted and how we behaved would be reflective of the family name.

Just a few Christmases ago, my parents bought us all sweatshirts and on the front is the acronym RWYAAWYR. Remember who you are and what you represent. On the back was our nickname and birth order in the family.  That number now goes up to 19 and soon to be 20. Mom was #1 not only because she was the oldest, something my Dad liked to point out, but because she was the one that set the example of who we wanted to be.

So today as we honor my sweet Mom, I hope to share with you the many things that she was and what she represented.

Mom is a Dancer. My mom received her dancing skills from her dad. At our wedding, my Grandpa Adams and her stole the show. Grandpa’s nickname should’ve been smooth operator as he could glide across the dance floor with ease. My Mom inherited those skills. Most Saturdays growing up started with my Dad blaring Steppenwolf’s Magic Carpet Ride as loud as he could as he tried to wake up the crew. My mom was usually bright eyed and dressed for the day, already cutting a rug in the family room. I still remember being fascinated when I was a young boy, as she and Brandon would swing dance across the room. I have never been an early riser, but its hard not to be happy when you wake up to Mom dancing and singing… “I don’t think your ready for this jelly, I don’t think your ready for this jelly.”

Mom is Stylish. We would always joke that Mom was like a fine wine and that she got better looking with age.  In high school I was supposed to walk across the gym, escorted by someone of my choosing. I asked Mom to walk with me that day. After the assembly many of my friends noted how beautiful my mom was. At the time, I thought it was gross, but now that I’m older I can’t blame them. She truly is beautiful both inside and out.

Mom is Talented. She loved to be outdoors. She could snow ski, water ski, and bowl with the best of them. She made Girls State and was a cheerleader in High School. In college she was a gymnast and also taught business classes to unwed mothers.  She knows short hand and taught seminary to the youth in our church for many years. Amongst the siblings her typing skills are legendary. I can remember many late nights with her hunched by the computer, feverishly typing as I dictated my paper that was due the next morning.  She’s the one who taught me the meaning of the phrase…”show me don’t tell me.” It was during those late nights that she showed me that she was fully invested in me, no matter what I did and no matter how big or small it was, I was important to her.

Mom is Thoughtful.  Growing up our days started earlier than most other families. During the school year we would go to seminary to study the scriptures and learn of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. This entailed getting up at 5AM, Monday thru Friday. I cant remember a single day that she didn’t wake up at 5, make breakfast, make our lunch, give us a kiss and wish us well as we started a new day. I’m one of five children. I did the math. That’s 3,060 days that she woke up at 5AM not because she had to, but because she wanted to. Among my fondest memories of those mornings  are the many that she would turn the shower on for me and wake me up to get ready. I would usually come back to my room to find her asleep under my covers.  Again, I’m not a morning person, so naturally, I would silently slip into bed and fall back asleep only to wake up a few hours later to Mom’s startled cry. “Tyler! Why didn’t you wake me up?!” To which we would laugh and proceed to get ready for the day. 

Mom is a Friend. Shortly after her accident we did our best to communicate to all our family and friends what had happened. Carol made the comment, “How to you tell thousands of people that there best friend was just severely injured?”  Everyone Mom came into contact with felt like they were her best friends, probably because she treated them that way. Growing up, family seemed to increase in size every year. One year I remember a sweet, slightly feisty, Hungarian lady named Barbara showed up at our door. Barbara was soon attending birthdays, holidays, and even vacation cruises to the Caribbean. We never thought twice, Mom embraced her, so we did too. Mom never cared about if we had enough food or enough seats at the table, she was only concerned with who needed to feel loved and who needed to be there. It didn’t matter if there were 10, 20, or just one person, she was a friend to all.

Mom is Loving. Above all, she loved everyone around her. Not only did she show her love with her actions, but also she was a master at hiding hand written notes to my Dad and my siblings for us to find. All the way up to my senior year I would receive hand written notes from my Mom, telling me that she loves me and wishing me good luck on a test or a big game. My friends would shake their heads as a 6’5”, 18 year old dumped his lunch sack out onto the cafeteria table only to see Hershey kisses and a love note fall out.  What I would give for another note telling me she loves me.

A little over three years ago Carol and I decided to move back to Chicago. We were nervous and excited to start a new job and be so close to my parents. The single greatest blessing over the last three years has been living so close to Mom. Carol, Donovan and Lincoln were her new best friends. They went to every petting zoo, museum, party, sporting event, concert that they could find. And celebrated every holiday to the fullest.  Halloween soon became a week-long celebration and Christmas was no two weeks long. They often cried when it came time to come home, begging to stay longer with Grandma and Grandpa. How grateful I am to live so close for these last three years. Something my boys and Carol will never forget.

Shortly after Mom’s passing, Carol and I decided we would tell Donovan and Lincoln that Grandma Sherrie was no longer with us. After fumbling over our words and struggling on how best to break the news Donovan finally said, “Its ok, she’s an angel now.” Yes, Donovan she is. She was an angel to us all for 56 years and now she is an angel to those who have passed on before us. There is no doubt in my mind that she is doing now what she did her entire life. Listening, serving, and loving.  My sweet Mom never forgot who she was or what she represented. She treated everyone as Son or Daughter of our Heavenly Father. As we learn from the past, live in the present, and prepare for the future, it is my prayer that we too, like my mom, will remember who we are and what we represent.

I testify to you that we will see my sweet Mom and  all the others that have passed on before us , thanks to the perfect plan of our Heavenly Father and the sacrifice and resurrection of his only  begotten Son…Families can be together forever.