The latest on Mom...

It's raining again today in Miami.  The last couple of days have started out like that - both in our hearts and outside.  You open our eyes to another day and there's a part of you that just can't believe its real.  The feelings and experiences we have had over the last six days have been as real and as poignant and as powerful as any of us have ever felt, yet sometimes it still feels like a really bad dream we'll all wake up from at some point.  You think, "this kind of stuff only happens to other people, not us.  Traumatic brain injury?  That's just not possible."  Yet here we are.  It DID happen to us and we, as a family, are doing our best to navigate these rough and uncharted waters.  As many of you know from your own trials and heartaches, it has been exceedingly difficult.  It's hard to believe its only been six days since mom's fall - it feels more like six months.  We are learning to just keep moving, keep praying, keep hoping...and little by little, we'll figure out what all this means both for mom and for us.

Fortunately, just as the rain has given way to sunshine here as the days progress, our hearts have been strengthened each day by small miracles - memories of mom, kind words from friends and family, good news (or lack of bad news) from doctors, feelings of peace that have helped us get through the day.  We never know where they will come from, but they seem to come at some point everyday. They remind us that God is in charge.  Please remember, we are not religious zealots committed to blind faith, leaving little room for science and modern medicine.  We listen to answers from our doctors just as we listen to answer from our prayers.  We are also not big believers in fate.  Rather, we try to do our best with the decisions that are placed in front of us and turn to a higher power for guidance as we make them.  We believe that God is intimately involved in our lives (more than even the most spiritual individual can begin to understand) and that there is a purpose behind all of this with my mom - lessons to be learned, experience to gain that will help in someway we currently don't understand.  The hardest part seems to lie in the uncertainty - What will happen to Mom?  What will she be like as she progresses?  How long will it take?  Unfortunately, those questions we so desperately ask to will only be answered over time - again, how much we do not know.  The feeling of helplessness can be overwhelming, but we strive each day to put all of this in His hands (and in the hands of highly capable physicians) and maintain an eternal perspective on this life.  We believe we will have the opportunity to live together as a family in the hereafter and enjoy my mom as we have over the last 56 years.  We hold on to this particular belief very tightly.

Now, some updates on Mom's progress (emphasis on progress).  The MRI, as we suspected, indicated that she has some damage to her thalamus.  Hard to know at this point how much is permanent (vs. brain cells that are dormant) - and virtually impossible to know what that means for her long term prognosis.  But, we do know that the damage has affected less than 50% of her thalamus.  Not good, but better than all of it.  One thing were learning about brain injuries and neurology (btw, one of the many things we wish we weren't learning about through this process) is that developing a timeline and prognosis is very difficult.  Brains work in unique ways for everyone and doctors never really know how someone is going to react to certain types of injuries.  Dr. Bullock said he has only seen her type of injury - brain injury that caused vertical pressure (vs. lateral pressure) resulting in a bi-lateral thalamic infarction - one other time in over 35 years as a neuro surgeon.  So, the full range of possibilities - from the very good to the very bad - are still in play here.  We do know that mom's recovery will take time and that (for as hard as this is to admit) she will likely not be exactly the same as she was before her injury - but again, we don't know exactly what that means.  It is in the realm of possibilities that she recovers and has a high quality of life - we pray for that constantly.

We are told that across thousands and thousands of case studies on people with brain injuries, the only consistently reliable predictor of future neurological function is progress at various milestones - e.g., 7 days post-injury, 14 days, 30 days, and so on.  For example, if someone doesn't respond/react after 30 days, it is highly unlikely that they will respond at day 60 or day 90.  So, what we are looking for a this stage is steady progress as we enter the 7-10 day timeframe.  Progress at this stage is defined by increased and increasingly more purposeful movement, opening her eyes, etc.  Fortunately, mom is demonstrating pretty solid progress over the last couple of days, which is a very good sign.  She is moving more and is responding to stimuli.  Her movements aren't always voluntary, but some of them definitely are - she will move her feet away if you tickle or pinch them; she also moves her arms up towards her chest which is really good.  Yesterday, she squeezed my hand with a couple of her fingers (made my day!).  The doctor told us this morning that she started to open her eyes when they were moving her into a new position.  All in all, this is really good progress.  Please pray for the next big step which is for her to open her eyes fully.  We've been playing her ESPN Jock Jams to get her pumped up!!

As was mentioned in the previous post, Mom also had an angioplasty to gather additional data on blood flow to the brain to complement some of the things they saw in the MRI.  Over the last couple of days, Mom's condition has become much more about neuro vascular care (i.e., monitoring and measuring blood flow to the brain) than neuro trauma as she has become more stable.  One of the things the doctors were worried about is the arteries that serve the back of the brain.  There was some concern that  they had been severed or pinched in a way that would significantly restrict blood flow.  This would be a really bad outcome if it were the case (essentially, we would have very little expectation for any recovery without very invasive surgery), so we found ourselves at another cross road.  Fortunately, the results came back in our favor - great news!!  The arteries had contracted somewhat in two places, but not to a degree that is would compromise blood flow to the thalamus and other areas, and it will eventually repair itself naturally.

All in all, it was a pretty good day medically.  We are coming to grips with the damage she has to her thalamus, but we didn't receive any news that would give us reason not to hope for better days.  The fact that she is moving and progressing that way is a good sign.  There will be days when she won't progress and other days where she will, and we pray we are ready for the ups and downs over the coming days and weeks.  To this point, we have been making progress in yards (we like yards!), but we all suspect the coming days are about making progress in inches.  Every inch counts, but it is going to take some time - there may be less to keep you apprised of on a day-to-day basis, but we will definitely share any news, thoughts, feelings as we have them.

Tyler, Zach, and Brik Eyre flew home to Chicago to get Zach through his last couple days of school before graduation.  He also has a second round lacrosse playoff game tonight in Libertyville.  He will play with a heavy heart, but Mom would want him to see through what he started with his team.  Go Cats!  Todd also flew home to Jess to be with their one week old baby, Hudson Michael Labrum.  We can't wait to meet him.  Dad, Brit and I are holding down the for here with Mom.  We have been reading her a lot of your messages, so keep them coming.  As always, thank you for you generous love and support of our family - we couldn't do it without you.

Given the long road ahead, we have been learning something about patience - something we are not naturally good at in the family (Mom was definitely the exception).  It is a hard lesson to learn and one I suspect we will struggle with throughout this journey.  I wanted to share a couple of thoughts/quotes that have help us gain better perspective.  I pray that they are, in some way, beneficial to this broader group.  The quotes below come from a discourse given by one of the leaders of our church, Elder Dieter Uchtdorf - I think there is wise and inspired counsel in these words (please forgive the length):

"Patience [is] far more than simply waiting for something to happen—patience required actively working toward worthwhile goals and not getting discouraged when results didn’t appear instantly or without effort.

There is an important concept here: patience is not passive resignation, nor is it failing to act because of our fears. Patience means active waiting and enduring. It means staying with something and doing all that we can—working, hoping, and exercising faith; bearing hardship with fortitude, even when the desires of our hearts are delayed. Patience is not simply enduring; it is enduring well!

The children of Israel waited 40 years in the wilderness before they could enter the promised land. Jacob waited 7 long years for Rachel. The Jews waited 70 years in Babylon before they could return to rebuild the temple.  In each case, Heavenly Father had a purpose in requiring that His children wait.  Every one of us is called to wait in our own way. We wait for answers to prayers. We wait for things which at the time may appear so right and so good to us that we can’t possibly imagine why Heavenly Father would delay the answer.

Patience is a godly attribute that can heal souls, unlock treasures of knowledge and understanding, and transform ordinary men and women into saints and angels. Patience is truly a fruit of the Spirit.

Patience means staying with something until the end. It means delaying immediate gratification for future blessings. It means reining in anger and holding back the unkind word. It means resisting evil, even when it appears to be making others rich.

Patience means accepting that which cannot be changed and facing it with courage, grace, and faith. It means being “willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon [us], even as a child doth submit to his father.” ⁸ Ultimately, patience means being “firm and steadfast, and immovable in keeping the commandments of the Lord” ⁹every hour of every day, even when it is hard to do so. In the words of John the Revelator, “Here is the patience of the saints: here are they that keep the commandments of God, and … faith [in] Jesus.” ¹⁰

Patience is a process of perfection. The Savior Himself said that in your patience you possess your souls. ¹¹ Or, to use another translation of the Greek text, in your patience you win mastery of your souls. ¹² Patience means to abide in faith, knowing that sometimes it is in the waiting rather than in the receiving that we grow the most. This was true in the time of the Savior. 

To paraphrase the Psalmist of old, if we wait patiently for the Lord, He will incline unto us. He will hear our cries. He will bring us out of a horrible pit and set our feet upon a solid rock. He will put a new song in our mouths, and we will praise our God. Many around us will see it, and they will trust in the Lord. ¹⁴

The work of patience boils down to this: keep the commandments; trust in God, our Heavenly Father; serve Him with meekness and Christlike love; exercise faith and hope in the Savior; and never give up. The lessons we learn from patience will cultivate our character, lift our lives, and heighten our happiness.

WE LOVE YOU ALL.  THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU DO.

LOVE, 

DAD, MOM, AND ALL THE KIDS